You know that voice in your head that’s always trying to keep you safe? The one that scans every room for exits and overthinks every text message? Or what about the part of you that just wants to have fun and says “yes” to everything, even when you’re exhausted? And then there’s that inner critic that shows up right when you’re about to try something new, whispering all the ways you might fail.
Here’s what might blow your mind: these aren’t just random thoughts or moods. They’re actually different parts of you, each with their own job, their own concerns, and their own way of trying to help you navigate life.
This is the core idea behind Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapy model that recognizes we’re all made up of different internal parts. Instead of seeing these various voices and impulses as problems to fix, IFS helps us understand that every part developed for a reason – usually to protect us or help us survive something difficult.
Dr. Richard Schwartz, who created IFS, explains in No Bad Parts that there are literally no bad parts of ourselves – only parts that got stuck in outdated roles or learned extreme ways of protecting us. That perfectionist part that drives you to exhaustion? It probably learned early on that being “good enough” kept you safe. The part that shuts down when things get intense? It’s trying to protect you from overwhelming emotions.
The goal isn’t to get rid of these parts (spoiler alert: you can’t), but to help them relax into healthier roles. When your parts feel seen and understood, they don’t have to work so hard in ways that might be hurting you now.
Think of it like this: you have an inner manager part that tries to control everything to prevent problems, firefighter parts that jump in during crisis mode, and exiled parts that carry your deeper wounds and longings. When these parts are in constant conflict or working overtime, that’s when you might feel anxious, depressed, or just completely overwhelmed.
But underneath all these parts is what IFS calls your Self – that calm, curious, compassionate part of you that can listen to all your parts without judgment. As Schwartz notes in No Bad Parts, when you’re in Self, you naturally know how to care for your parts in ways that promote healing and growth.
Learning to tune into your parts can be a game-changer for your mental health. Instead of judging yourself for feeling conflicted or “all over the place,” you can get curious about what each part needs and find ways to honor them without letting them run the show.
Your wellness isn’t about becoming a “perfect” person – it’s about creating more harmony within your inner family. And just like any family, that starts with listening, understanding, and showing up with compassion for every member of the team.
Salt + Cedar Collective 